One of my daughter’s asked me last night, while we celebrated the arrival of a new year together, if I had any New Year’s resolutions. I generally avoid resolutions; my view is that if you truly want or need to make a change in your life, you can do so anytime, and those I know who continually make a new list each January, seem to give up on their commitments a few months in. But I did have an experience a few weeks ago that made me think about an important pledge that I should make to myself.
I was finishing up a Pilates class and a friend and fellow Pilates enthusiast was just arriving for her class. At my studio, there are different class levels with a level 1 being the easiest, a 1.5 being the level that most regulars attend, and a level 2 for true masters of pilates. I’ve primarily taken 1.5 classes the past few years as they offer the challenge I need and fit into my work schedule best but lately, I’d been taking more level 1 classes due to a nagging SI joint injury.
My friend greeted me and asked what class I had just finished.
“Oh, just a level one,” I noted.
“Why did you say ‘just’?” she asked. “We need to stop judging ourselves so harshly,” she continued. “It’s my New Year’s resolution.”
I’ve been thinking about what she said ever since. As someone who taught aerobics classes for 20+ years, I’ve always been competitive about my workouts and hard on myself when it comes to exercise. While age and chronic injuries have forced me to slow down to some extent over the years, I suppose I’ve never really accepted the adjustments I’ve had to make.
Similarly, those who have worked with me over the years know that I’m the same way on the job. I expect a lot of others but hold myself to an even higher standard. I have a hard time accepting that I can’t “do it all” and when I fall short of my goals, I’m generally not a happy camper.
But I know that to be happier – at work, at home, and at the gym – it’s imperative that I start being a bit kinder to myself. I’ll never not have high expectations but this year, I’m resolving to accept that I won’t always meet those expectations. I’m going to try, at least.
When I think back to that day and that particular Pilates class, the workout I had that day was actually exactly what I needed. While it wasn’t “hard”, it was “hard enough”, and I remember feeling really great after the class was over until my friend asked me about it. I’ve been replaying the scene to determine how I might have better responded to her question instead of making excuses, beating myself up, and expecting more.
When I get back to the Pilates studio in a few days, after a wonderful holiday vacation, I plan to ease back in with a level 1 class and see how it feels. And if it feels good, if it’s what I need, I’m going to reflect on that, feel accomplished, and move on with my kinder, gentler attitude.
Wishing you all a wonderful 2023 and I hope you will be kinder to yourself – and others – in the New Year!
suburbandirt 